Free Beacon Satire
The Latest
EXCLUSIVE: Meet Brad Lander’s Top Choice for Campaign Communications Director
We obtained the candidate's cover letter, complete with land acknowledgments and other apologies
Bombshell Report: Crockett Charged with Assaulting Police Officer in 2022
Loudmouthed Texas Democrat announces U.S. Senate run after taking money from Jeffrey Epstein
Gavin Newsom's Twisted 'Crotch Clench' Sparks Concern, Baffles Experts
Greasy gov dishonors America with 'testicle-crushing' pose
Exclusive: The Truth About the Global Plot Against Candace Owens, as Told By the Plotters Themselves
It's even worse that you thought
Cory Booker Obtains Female Wife in Boost to 2028 White House Bid
Notorious bachelor ties the knot in 'private' ceremony shared exclusively with the New York Times
How I Found Out My Journalist Side Piece Was Cheating on Me With Her Fiancé
An exclusive excerpt from 'American Lamento: Savage Tendrils of the Hollow Beast'
I'm Just That F—ing Good: Gaza Peace Plan Was the Opening Act of My Bold Second-Term Agenda
And by the way, Kamala had nothing to do with it. She's a moron who could never be president.
OMBUDSMAN: All Staff Must Resign After Free Beacon Editor Sells Out for Lamestream Glory
Eliana Johnson threatens the personal safety of her employees
Alternate History: What if Kamala Had Picked the (Openly) Gay Guy?
He couldn't have been any worse than Tim Walz, could he?