Super Bowl WAGs, Ranked

A Washington Free Beacon exclusive

February 9, 2024

The Kansas City Chiefs will take on the San Francisco 49ers in the Super Bowl on Sunday. That's a shame because both teams are very annoying in their own way. The Chiefs are the annoying team that always wins in the most annoying possible way, not to mention the whole Taylor Swift fiasco. The 49ers are annoying because they represent an open-air toilet dystopia teeming with crack pipes and tech oligarchs.

If you can't decide which team to support, it often helps to rank the physical attractiveness of the players' wives and girlfriends (WAGs). We selected the three best-looking female companions for each team, then rated them against each to determined which team had the hottest WAGs. The results may surprise you. Enjoy!

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