What happened: A white socialist nerd riding his stupid bicycle in Brooklyn ate shit on the asphalt after a black moped driver gently grazed him during an otherwise flawless passing maneuver.
• The nerd was listening to an episode of Chapo Trap House, described by the New Yorker as a "gleefully eccentric podcast dedicated to vulgar leftist commentary on politics and media." To make matters worse, he was listening on speakerphone.
• Riding a bicycle in Brooklyn while listening to Chapo Trap House on speakerphone is one of the whitest imaginable activities in which a left-wing nerd could ever partake. It is disgusting, obnoxious, anti-social, and un-American.
What happened next: After shrieking in agony like a little girl, the entitled hipster went "Full Karen," hurling profanity-laced invectives at the black motorist, who did nothing wrong according to a video of the incident posted on social media. "What the fuck, man?" the cyclist raged. "You out of your fucking mind?"
• The tirade presumably caused the innocent black man to fear for his safety. Some left-wing academics might describe the white nerd's racially charged tantrum as an "act of violence" against a member of a "historically marginalized community." What happened next was even worse.
What happened next: The deranged socialist peeled himself up off the ground and charged the black moped driver while demanding to see his identification in order to "file a fucking [police] report, bro."
• Left-wing academics might describe this behavior as "threatening to literally murder an innocent Black man by enlisting a white supremacist law enforcement agency with a long history of committing unprovoked racist violence against Black bodies."
• Some left-wing activists refuse to call police because "the harm that comes out of engaging with police is much more violent" than letting criminals get away with doing crimes. Needless to say, the black moped driver did not commit a crime. In a just world, he would be commended for his actions.
His actions: The moped driver did the honorable thing by stopping to make sure the little twerp wasn't seriously injured. Alas, the situation changed when the cyclist started cursing and threatening to involve the cops. Like a true American hero, he told the nerd he didn't "give a fuck" about his dumb bicycle.
• "You better get off of me, boy," the hardworking citizen warned the accosting dweeb. "You better get off me before I punch you in your fucking—I don't give a fuck. You hit me." Then he sped off into the sunset like a Real American pioneer hoping to stake his claim in the Land of the Free.
• God bless this hero.
Bottom line: Liberal nerds on bicycles (pardon the redundancy) are the worst.
See for yourself:
— Ben Blippenstein (@BenBlippenstein) November 30, 2023