"I was just trying to have fun."
Remember these words. They're part of the dramatic centerpiece of New York Times television writer Dave Itzkoff's May 17 feature on Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon. They are Fallon's explanation for his unforgivable sin of—what? A DUI? A hit-and-run? An extramarital affair?
Worse.
He tousled Donald Trump's hair.
Eight months ago. For five seconds. And the Internet can't let it go.
Watch if you dare.
Described by Itzkoff as "widely criticized"—Internet-speak for "my media friends and I did not like this"—Fallon, yes, did a friendly interview on Sept. 15 that ended in him messing up the future president's infamous golden mane. (For the record, this was not the first controversial presidential candidate whose hair Fallon has tousled.)
Fallon's response to the furor, then and now, is, um, quite reasonable:
"I didn’t do it to humanize him," Mr. Fallon said, explaining this moment to me. "I almost did it to minimize him. I didn’t think that would be a compliment: ‘He did the thing that we all wanted to do.’"
Sounds like Fallon was just having fun.
HOW DARE HE???!!!
The argument of the piece is that because Fallon has decided against joining his comedy cohorts like Stephen Colbert, Samantha Bee and Seth Meyers in the #Resistance, his ratings have suffered.
Fallon isn't backing down from the criticism, saying, "I don’t want to be bullied into not being me ... Just because some people bash me on Twitter, it’s not going to change my humor or my show."
The fact that he has to say that eight months after the fact is remarkable, but this isn't the first major publication of 2017 to delve back into HairGate.
For instance, The Daily Beast's Matt Wilstein had his arms crossed very tightly when he wrote this scold piece in January:
Dear @jimmyfallon, you're not allowed to humanize @realDonaldTrump and then make this joke as him on your show: https://t.co/u4I6TJP1qQ pic.twitter.com/2vA0hFuj0r
— Matt Wilstein (@mattwilstein) January 31, 2017
My favorite part is this deep-dive into the show's effect on the voters:
In fact, at least one voter in Virginia said she voted for Trump specifically because he seemed "very humble" on the Tonight Show.
Mother of God. Trump's loss to Hillary Clinton in Virginia might have been 212,031 votes instead of 212,030. And don't get me started on all those coal miners in the Rust Belt who bolted for Trump because his hair got russled (polling data for this assertion is unavailable).
Or take this ludicrous Newsweek piece by Alexander Nazaryan, which un-ironically calls Fallon the "least woke comedian" in late-night. It opens by dramatically contrasting, among other politically charged segments, Jimmy Kimmel's heartfelt monologue about his infant son's heart condition with Fallon interviewing Amy Schumer about her new movie.
You know, the sort of thing that happens on late-night.
"Fallon’s desire to be liked, once his main asset, has become a lethal liability," Nazaryan writes.
Yes, Fallon is dead in the water. According to the Times, Fallon's show is "still profitable and strongly supported by advertisers."
Forget how dumb it was to expect someone with a segment on his program called "Lip-Sync Battle" to morph into Charlie Rose. What's annoying about all these articles is what none of the writers can bear to admit: Fallon not getting on board with the homogenous blob of liberal anger at Trump rocks their comfort zone.
They certainly aren't angry that a comedian would do something to comfort a powerful politician. Otherwise, they'd be up in arms about:
Bee's segment endorsing Hillary Clinton as the "baddest bitch" ever to run for president
Meyers crying (and not in a funny way) over Hillary Clinton losing.
Colbert sycophantically letting Barack Obama take over his show.
Trevor Noah telling Obama he's an "inspiration" to him.
But no, that was all well and good.
As far as Trump, though, call him a Russian "c—— holster" if you must, but don't you dare touch his hair.