Beto O'Rourke had a turtle problem. The former congressman and failed Senate candidate reportedly left the campaign trail in late April to address a "family crisis" in the form of a missing turtle, aka "Baby Gus." The family dog, Artemis, was ominously fingered as the chief suspect in the turtle's disappearance.
The episode raised questions about O'Rourke's ability to care for the life of a single innocent creature, much less a nation of 327 million. Fortunately for the candidate, the turtle problem was allegedly solved. In an Instagram post published Friday, the day typically reserved for "news dumps" of damaging information, O'Rourke celebrated the safe return of a baby turtle, alleged to be the aforementioned "Baby Gus," and publicly exonerated Artemis on all charges.
It's a heartwarming tale of redemption, if true. But in politics these days, that's always a big "if." It's a little too convenient, don't you think? Not to mention impossible to verify.
Yes, Beto "found" a baby turtle. Or did he? We don't know when that photo was taken. We certainty don't have enough evidence to prove that the creature in the photo is, in fact, Baby Gus, aka St. Augustine of Turtle. "Hiding in a closet"? Really? If Artemis were to stand trial in our justice system, a jury would require a lot more to declare him "not guilty" beyond a reasonable doubt. He has a guilty look about him, to say the least.
If O'Rourke is regretting his decision to abandon his burgeoning career as a travel blogger to run for president, he should just be honest with the American people, rather than exploiting his animal problems as an excuse to take time off from the campaign trail. The complacent media will endeavor to bury this controversy, but American voters must never forget.