EQUAL PAIN: US Women Eliminated From World Cup After Anthem Protest

America humiliated as female soccer squad suffers earliest tournament exit in history

August 7, 2023

What happened: The U.S. women's soccer team was eliminated from the FIFA Women's World Cup on Sunday after losing a penalty shootout to Sweden, an inferior country.

• The embarrassing defeat, which occurred in the first round of the knockout stage, marked the U.S. team's earliest World Cup exit in history.

• Prior to the game, several players on the U.S. team remained silent during the national anthem, presumably in protest of some perceived injustice.

• After whining for years about "gender equality," the U.S. women's team achieved exactly the same result as the (chronically mediocre) men's team in the real World Cup in 2022: one win and two draws in the group stage, followed by a first-round exit in the knockout stage. Equality!

• Megan Rapinoe, an outspoken left-wing activist, missed badly on a crucial penalty kick that could have secured a victory for her team and country. Rather than exude shame, she smiled like a maniac.

Why it matters: It doesn't. Soccer is not a real sport and is one of the most corrupt anti-American institutions in the world. For example, the official final score of the U.S.-Sweden game was 0-0. Its outcome was determined by "penalty kicks." What the hell?

• On the other hand, it's humiliating. If America, the world's greatest country, is going to compete in something, we might as well win it all. This is especially true if the players are going to spend most of their time whining about politics.

• President Donald Trump's formidable leadership propelled the U.S. women's team to victory at the Women's World Cup in 2019. The team's early exit from this year's tournament reflects poorly on President Joe Biden, 80, and raises troubling questions about his ability to lead.

• Months after Biden was elected in 2021, the U.S. women's team "won" a bronze medal at the Tokyo Olympics after losing to f—ing Canada. How embarrassing.

What they're saying: "The 'shocking and totally unexpected loss' by the U.S. Women's Soccer Team to Sweden is fully emblematic of what is happening to the our [sic] once great Nation under Crooked Joe Biden," former president Trump wrote on Truth Social. "Nice shot Megan, the USA is going to Hell!!!"

• "Probably 'equal pay,'" said a blubbering Megan Rapinoe in response to a question about her favorite memory of representing her country on the world stage.

Bottom line: Shut up and kick. (Try aiming for the goal next time.)