It seems relatively obvious that Hillary Clinton won the debate last night. Trump hurt her early on TPP and NAFTA—her flip flop on the Trans Pacific Partnership is, simply, unbelievable—but she held her own or bested him everywhere else. Sure, she made utterly ridiculous claims like "tax cuts caused the financial crisis of 2008," but Trump was borderline incoherent in many of his answers, defended Russia and criticized NATO, failed to hurt her on her emails, got hit hard on racial bias in renting apartments, and, to top it all off, suggested levying what will almost certainly be referred to as an "Oreo Tax" for the rest of the election:
Trump spokesman confirms: Yes, he'd impose an Oreo tax https://t.co/b5V3ag3dzy
— Philip Klein (@philipaklein) September 27, 2016
He seemed fine temperamentally—I really don't think most people mind when he interrupts her, and her efforts to rattle him on the tax issue were unsuccessful—but he also seemed off, performance-wise. The sniffing was out of control; he sounded like the allegedly coked-up accountant from Seinfeld through much of the evening. Given how much emphasis he's put on her being a frail elderly woman on death's door, it was, shall we say, not a good look. To top it all off, he spent the last portion of the debate whining like a dog about all the mean commercials she's aired.
Of course, this means he's probably going to go up four points in the polls by the end of the week.
Trump said of moderator Lester Holt "I didn't think he did a bad job." His surrogates this morning were less pleased, hitting Holt for not asking questions about Benghazi and the FBI investigation into Hillary's reckless use of a private email server.
And you know what? They're right! There are lots of tougher questions that the next moderator could ask Hillary Clinton at the next debate. I've acquired a secret internal memo from the Trump camp* with some solid questions for the next debate.
- Mr. Trump, you've referred to women, and I'm paraphrasing here, as fat ugly horrible disgusting pigs. Why do you think they're expending energy complaining about this when they should be working to drop all that extra weight?
- Mrs. Clinton, how will you serve as president when you're sitting in prison for all your email-related crimes? Does the Constitution allow you to pardon yourself for your wanton criminality?
- Mr. Trump, your hotels are fabulous and classy—really, they are the best hotels. Will you update the White House's interior decorations? Will you save the American people money by stiffing the subcontractors who install all the gold lamé curtains?
- Mrs. Clinton, why did your husband cheat on you repeatedly?
- Mr. Trump, isn't it ridiculous that people think Vladimir Putin—who you are friendly with and just wants to do right by the people of Russia, a worthy goal for a national leader—would hack Hillary's emails? How would you apologize to him for the vicious slanders he has endured these past few months?
- Follow up for Mr. Trump: When you suggested in the last debate that a 400 pound hacker was behind recent hacks of the DNC and others, were you implying that Chris Christie was behind it?
- Mrs. Clinton, did you personally order the attack on the Benghazi compound, or did you just cackle with glee while it happened?
- Mr. Trump, which nation should we take the oil from next? Venezuela? Canada? The world is yours.
- Mrs. Clinton, how does it feel to steal jobs from hardworking Americans and ship them to foreigners that, I assume, chant "Death to America" on a regular basis?
- Mr. Trump, final question: How much do you love America?
- Mrs. Clinton, final question: How many souls did you consume to cure yourself of the "pneumonia" you were suffering from?
All fair questions in my opinion. When will the media stop being so biased?
*No I haven't.