The Free Beacon election team would like to introduce our readers to KATE, our kinetic analytics technology emulator. KATE operates an advance forecasting model that not only analyzes millions of conventional data points, but also incorporates a number of nontraditional methods to capture "ghost data" that the human brain is incapable of understanding.
KATE believes there is a 51.7 percent chance that President Obama will resign after the midterm elections. The president’s NIXON Index (Nonchalance In eXcess Of Nobility) clocks in at an astonishing 31 (out of 37). He pals around with an average of 1.2 celebrities every day, and longs to attend more dinner parties with "interesting Italians." Obama’s top aides are making cameos on "The Good Wife" and "Sesame Street." Meanwhile, Next President Joe Biden is bidin’ his time hosting marathons of "Law & Order SVU."
Obama seemed to confirm KATE’s predication in remarks at a DNC fundraiser earlier this week [emphasis added]:
I’ve run my last campaign. Michelle is deeply grateful. (Laughter.) But the issues I’m fighting for, the issues that I will continue to fight for even after I leave this office, those issues are at stake. And we’ve got to be willing to fight for them.
The good news for Democrats is that having Biden assume the presidency now would preclude the need for a drawn out Democratic primary in 2016, which he would be the overwhelming favorite to win anyway.
