A Brief Defense of Hillary Clinton (!) and a Longer One of Britt McHenry

I'm using a photo of Britt and not Hillary, because obvi?

Of the many Hillary Clinton gaffes this week, the one I found least compelling was her totally reasonable refusal to “tip” the employees at Chipotle. I don’t know when we started tipping fast food workers (it certainly didn’t start when I was manning the counter at McDonald’s), but the whole idea is idiotic for any number of reasons: We tip waiters because they are providing a wholly different, far more complex service and because they make the tipped wage (the federal minimum wage for tipped employees is just $2.13/hour) and rely on tips for their livelihood. This faux-controversy is dumb. LEAVE HILLARY ALONE (about this; feel free to pile on about everything else).

More complex is the situation around Britt McHenry. Now, you’ve probably never heard of Britt McHenry—but neither had most of the people calling for her to be fired after video of her freaking out on a tow truck company’s employee surfaced. It took almost the entire work day for the social media mob to find someone to sacrifice, but they did it! Good job, good effort guys. We needed our daily expiation!

Hillary Clinton Parks Luxury Van in Handicapped Parking Spot In Desperate Appeal to Youth Voters

Youthful disregard for authority.

Journeyman presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is desperate to portray herself as youthful and attuned to the concerns of “everyday Americans.” These efforts were on full display Thursday when, in an attempt to associate herself with the celebrity heroes of our nation’s youth—and in another slight at differently abled people—Hillary parked her expensive luxury vehicle in a handicapped parking spot.*