Idris Elba Should NOT Be the Next Bond

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The big dumb Internet fight this week revolved around the author of some recent James Bond books saying that Idris Elba is “too street” to play Bond. Obviously, this was deeply problematic.

But, honestly, I think the real problem here is that Elba himself is not nearly progressive enough a choice. Sure, a “black Bond” would be cool. But a truly liberated Hollywood would do the right thing and pick a female Bond.

Whoa, whoa, clam down. I know this is a radical proposition. But ladies can be special agents too. Allow me to suggest a few fantastic choices for Jamie Bond.

Twilight of the Idols

Baalshamin Temple's destruction, August, 2015 / AP

A little over two weeks ago, agents of the Islamic State escorted Khaled al-Asaad, the retired director of Palmyra’s complex of antiquities, to the square in front of the city’s principal museum and beheaded the 82-year-old before an audience of militants. They then strapped his headless body to a light-pole upside down, attaching to it a sign that listed his various crimes. Several of these had a medieval but recently all-too-familiar ring to them: apostasy, of course, as well as representing the Syrian government at international conferences of infidels (archaeological symposia, it seems) and superintending the “idols” of the city.