Satire

High-Risk Elderly Man Openly Defies CDC Coronavirus Guidelines

Biden's reckless face touching proves he's not ready to lead

Former vice president Joe Biden, 77, made some bold claims about his personal efforts to prevent the spread of the coronavirus during his one-on-one debate against Sen. Bernie Sanders (I., Vt.) on March 15.

"I wash my hands. God knows how many times a day. I carry with me, in my bag outside here, hand sanitizer. I don't know how many times a day I use that. I make sure I don't touch my face and so on. I'm taking all the precautions we're telling everybody else to take," said Biden, the presumptive Democratic nominee for president in 2020.

FACT CHECK: FALSE!

Biden lied. He does touch his face and so on. In fact, the former vice president could not stop touching his face, particularly the mouth area, during a remote appearance on The View on Tuesday. Video evidence reveals that Biden touched his face on multiple occasions during the interview and even appeared to lick his fingers several times.

Scientific experts agree that touching one's face is one of the most reckless things an individual can do in the midst of a coronavirus pandemic. The same experts warn that individuals over the age of 65 are at "higher risk" of severe illness and death if they contract the virus, which originated in communist China.

The View hosts, rather than call out the former VP's blatant disregard for scientific expertise, continued to ask Biden questions without a care in the world, even when he spouted gibberish in response. "We have to take care of the cure," Biden said. "That will only make the problem worse no matter what."

Most Americans will recognize Biden's flaunting of the expert guidelines for what it really is—a shameless display of hubris in a time of national crisis. The nation needs leadership, not showmanship.

President Donald J. Trump, though an accomplished showman in his own right, has been leading the country with exquisite grace and formidable passion during these uncertain times. Trump's advice to the American people is simple, and approved by the CDC: "Avoid touching your face."

Biden, meanwhile, is not only lying to the American people about his face-touching habits. He's also putting lives at risk by falsely representing to his fellow elderly Americans that it's perfectly acceptable to touch their faces and lick their fingers. That's not leadership. It's a recipe for disaster. Can the American people really trust Joe Biden to follow the U.S. Constitution as president when he can't even follow the proper CDC guidelines for coughing during a pandemic?

Biden has been attempting to portray himself as a steady hand in this time of crisis. He delivered a livestreamed address on Monday, for example, reassuring some critics who had expressed concerns about the high-risk elderly man's whereabouts and well-being.

In addition to committing a number of gaffes, Biden praised the nation's journalists for "putting it all on the line for all of us" during the pandemic. Some journalists, for example, have been forced to sit in less comfortable chairs while working from home.

Biden also made suggestions for what the federal government should do to better contain the China-caused virus, though he was at times unable to maintain a basic level of coherence. "We need to build an arsenal of democracy, as we did in 1940," Biden said, inscrutably. "We can take, we can make a personal productive equipment."