Joe Biden’s Most ‘Courageous’ Moments

A super PAC supporting former vice president Joe Biden has unveiled its first television ad of the 2020 cycle. The ad, titled "Courage," attempts to highlight the Democratic frontrunner's record of resilience in the face of adversity.

Regrettably, the ad fails to mention some of the most quintessentially courageous acts of Biden's career. If the Unite the Country PAC had more than 30 seconds to make its case, one can assume it would have included the following:

STOOD UP FOR SEGREGATIONISTS

"Apologize for what?" Biden said earlier this year after Sen. Cory Booker (D., N.J.) called on him to apologize for boasting about his past collaborations with segregationist Democrats, including Sen. James Eastland of Mississippi, and joking that Eastland "never called me ‘boy,' he always called me ‘son.'"

VOTED AGAINST THE PERSIAN GULF WAR

"Even if you win today, you still lose," then-senator Biden declared in remarks directed at President George H.W. Bush on the eve of Operation Desert Storm in January 1991. By the end of February, coalition forces from more than 30 countries had succeeded in driving Saddam Hussein's forces out of Kuwait and obliterated the Iraqi military. Biden flip-flopped in 2002, joining Sen. Hillary Clinton (D., N.Y.) and other Democrats to authorize the use of military force against Iraq under President George W. Bush.

OPPOSED THE MISSION TO KILL BIN LADEN

"Mr. President, my suggestion is don't go," Biden reportedly told President Barack Obama when asked to weigh in on the 2011 special forces raid that resulted in the death of 9/11 mastermind Osama bin Laden.

RAN FOR PRESIDENT AGAIN DESPITE PAST FAILURES

Biden's first presidential campaign in 1988 ended in disgrace due to a plagiarism scandal. His second, in 2008, ended with a whimper after he placed fifth in the Iowa caucuses. Most people wouldn't have the courage to try again a third time. (What say you, Hillary?)

WON THE WAR ON HAIR LOSS

Despite nearly always being on the wrong side of major war efforts, Biden's decades-long "shock and awe" campaign against the sinister forces of hair loss has been a laudable success.

ASSERTED ALPHA DOMINANCE OVER ASH CARTER 

Biden made sure that rookie defense secretary Ash Carter knew his place before joining the Obama administration in 2015. The vice president displayed classic Alpha Male dominance by putting his hands all over Carter's wife as the incoming secretary spoke to reporters at the White House.

DEFENDED HIS RENEGADE SON'S HONOR AND CHALLENGED FAT LIAR TO A PUSH-UP CONTEST

Biden bravely defended his renegade son Hunter after an Iowa voter accused him of helping Hunter win a lucrative seat on the board of Ukrainian gas company Burisma. "You're a damn liar, man," Biden barked. He then proceeded to disparage the voter for being "sedentary" and overweight.

"Look, the reason I'm running is because I've been around a long time and I know more than most people know and I can get things done," Biden said. "And you want to check my shape, man, let's do push-ups together here, man, let's run, let’s do whatever you want to do, let's take an IQ test."

It was not the first time Biden had insulted the intelligence of a voter. During his first failed presidential campaign in 1988, he accosted a voter who asked about allegations that Biden had inflated his college resume, saying: "I think I probably have a much higher IQ than you do."