President Donald J. Trump delivered a crucial win for the Washington Nationals in game six of the World Series on Tuesday, a delayed result of his appearance at Nationals Park in game five, where he was callously booed by a crowd of Beltway lobbyists upset over his recent assassination of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.
Following a strong pitching performance from ace right-hander Stephen Strasburg, the Nationals defeated the Houston Astros seven to two, evening the series at three games apiece, setting up a crucial game seven at Minute Maid Park in Houston. Not surprisingly, the Nationals have won all three games played in Texas, a legitimate state that Trump won by 9 points in 2016.
President Trump humbly declined to take credit for the Nationals' victory, instead reminding the American people that no matter the outcome of the World Series, we are all winners thanks to his courageous leadership, unparalleled policy genius, and insatiable lust for terrorist blood.
THANK YOU, PRESIDENT TRUMP!