Culture

2019 Man of the Year: Henry Harold ‘Hal’ Hager

The most successful and charismatic member of the Bush political dynasty finally welcomed a male heir into the world in 2019. George W. Bush, the greatest living former president and painter of considerable talent, celebrated the birth of his first grandson in August. For obvious reasons, his grandson is a 2019 Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.

Henry Harold "Hal" Hager (aka Triple H) was born Aug. 2, 2019, to former first daughter Jenna Bush Hager and her husband, whose name is irrelevant. Dubya marked the occasion with an adorable post on Instagram, a popular social network application.

"We thank God that mom and baby are healthy, and we look forward to many years of loving the boy known as Hal," the respected world leader wrote. The caption accompanied a photo of the beautiful family in which Bush can be seen exuding his legendary jovial charisma.

Like many illustrious births throughout history, Hal's coming was foretold by a wise mystic. Celebrity clairvoyant Tyler Henry, star of the E! series Hollywood Medium, told Jenna Bush in 2016 "there is going to be a little boy that will be born."

The strapping young lad is Dubya's third grandchild, in addition to Hager's two daughters, Mila and Poppy. Jenna's fraternal twin sister, Barbara, has yet to produce a male heir.

Welcome to the world, Hal Bush. Your mere existence puts America's enemies one step closer on the path to defeat.