2023 Men of the Year: Motorists

Nevada Ranger plows through climate protest barricade (Daily Mail/YouTube)
December 26, 2023

It is difficult to conjure up a more perfect symbol of freedom than the open road. From Route 66 to the Blue Ridge Parkway, the open road screams sovereignty and rugged individualism. It provides a path to enlightenment, or, at least, to a place where scantily-clad women serve booze.

But in the year 2023, the open road isn't so open anymore. We aren't talking about speed traps, red light cameras, or overzealous crackheads on street corners. We're talking about a much more insidious enslaver: the eco-terrorist.

Climate change protesters, long a reflection of everything that is wrong with the world, managed to become even more insufferable this year. All across the globe, these deviants occupied the streets in an effort to stop normal human beings from living normal lives, citing an irreversible crisis that should have wiped us out already and didn't, but totally will in the imminent future.

Thankfully, motorists everywhere have united in standing up to these blue-haired bullies. As it turns out, regular people universally hate traffic-blocking climate activists, and their removal from the world's roadways has emerged as a unifying cause.

In Washington, D.C., for example, a black female motorist forcibly removed a group of elderly activists from a highway to allow her car to squeeze through. Hero drivers in Germany have repeatedly done the same, stepping up to ram climate protesters who blocked people from going to work.

A tribal ranger in Nevada, meanwhile, plowed through a climate protest checkpoint earlier this year before aiming his weapon at the occupiers. Another group of D.C. motorists, which included an Asian man, a tattooed white woman, and a pair of black men, spoke for all of us as they confronted a line of neon vest-wearing "Demand Emergency" road blockers.

"I want to work! I want to go to work!" they said. "I got kids to feed, bitch! What the fuck are they doing? Nothing!"

Now that's what we call intersectionality. For rallying behind a common cause and reminding today's youngsters that freedom isn't free, these brave motorists are hereby crowned as Washington Free Beacon Men of the Year.