In the weeks since anarcho-capitalist TV star Javier Milei was elected president of Argentina, many news outlets have dubbed him "Argentina’s Donald Trump." It’s true that both men have celebrity backgrounds, anti-woke policies, and iconic hairstyles. But Milei surpasses Trump in a few crucial areas, a Washington Free Beacon analysis has found:
Sexual Prowess: Trump was famously called "the best sex I ever had" by Marla Maples. But he has nothing on Milei, a tantric sex teacher who can reportedly last for three months—yes, months—in the bedroom.
Love of Jews: We all know Trump is a huge fan of the Jews. He moved the embassy to Jerusalem and is the only U.S. president with Jewish grandkids. But Milei has gone even further, vowing to convert to Judaism and become the "first Jewish president in Argentine history." He also took his first foreign visit as president-elect to the Rebbe’s Ohel in Queens.
Playboy Lifestyle: Trump has been married three times, and his current wife is a model. Milei? He’s a lifelong bachelor and orgy aficionado who doesn’t even think the state-sanctioned institution of marriage should exist—sorry, ladies.
Political Acumen: In Trump’s stump speeches, he promises to "drain the swamp." In Milei’s stump speeches, he literally waves around a live chainsaw.
Campaign Team: Trump’s political advisers include Jason Miller, Steven Cheung, and Chris LaCivita. Milei’s political advisers include Milton Friedman, Murray Rothbard, and Robert Lucas (the names of Milei’s cloned Mastiff dogs, whom he communicates with through a psychic medium).
Milei is clearly a big step up for Argentina, whose former leadership decimated the country’s economy and defrauded taxpayers while helping Iran evade justice for bombing a Jewish community center in Buenos Aires. Let’s hope that Milei can finally solve the mystery of who killed Alberto Nisman, the Argentine prosecutor who was assassinated in 2015 while investigating the government’s dealings with Iran.
For giving Argentina a new start and American politicians a role-model to strive for, Milei is a Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.