It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that snowflake libs have taken over the New York Times.
When the Gray Lady's employees aren't defenestrating an op-ed editor for doing his job, arguing that words are violence, or accusing their bosses of systemic racism, they aren't working at all. In early December, more than 1,100 of the paper's unionized employees organized a 24-hour "work stoppage," demanding 10 percent pay raises and citing the Times' "failure to bargain in good faith."
But even a Marxist beehive is bound to include a few worker bees.
Take Times national security reporter Matthew Rosenberg. In a March hidden camera video, Rosenberg trashed his woke colleagues as "fucking bitches" who refuse to stop "going on" about the alleged trauma they suffered at the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021. Rosenberg, by contrast, said he was "so over" the "January 6 stuff"—and that he'd even had "fun" covering the scene.
"These fucking little dweebs who keep going on about their trauma. I'm like, guys, shut the fuck up," Rosenberg said. The Times, he continued, is "not the kind of place I can tell someone to 'man up,' but I kind of want to be like, 'Dude, come on, you were not in any danger.'"
Perhaps inspired by Rosenberg's valorous rant, two of his fellow Times reporters joined the anti-woke resistance when their colleagues staged that "work stoppage" earlier this month. Chief White House reporter Peter Baker and White House correspondent Michael Shear—both union members—courageously crossed the picket line to cover the prisoner exchange executed by President Joe Brandon that brought WNBA player Brittney Griner back to America and sent Viktor Bout, a notorious Russian arms dealer better known as the "Merchant of Death," back to Moscow. Shear also made headlines last year when he admonished the Times' union representatives for raising dues for members who earn more than $140,000 per year.
Unfortunately, it is only a matter of time until Rosenberg, Baker, and Shear are consumed by a mob of blue-haired, Gen Z cannibals in a sacrificial ceremony performed under the "Church of Equity." For now, however, they're brave guerrillas fighting deep behind enemy lines. And for that, they are also 2022 Washington Free Beacon Men of the Year.