2014 Man of the Year: Jeffrey Patrick Rice

Jeffrey Patrick Rice runs over protesters
December 31, 2014

Jeffrey Patrick Rice is not a man who shies away from a challenge. In fact, he plows right through it.

When cowardly anti-police protesters blocked traffic in Minneapolis, Minn., and harassed innocent commuters, Rice did what any hero would do: he kept going. He tried to politely continue his commute home from work only to have hoodlums and teenagers jump onto the hood of his car and obstruct his vision.

Confused and unable to see, Rice accidentally ran into a teenage girl, before making his only mistake of the day: he stopped. The zombie horde descended upon him slamming his windshield and attempting to flip over his car. However, Rice wasn’t having any of it. He drove off, scattering terrible protest literature and even more terrible human beings in his wake.

Cameras recorded his heroism.

Rice is a man of persistence and honor. He didn’t let two drunk driving convictions stop him from picking up a third. The fact that he was sober on the day of the protest demonstrates that Rice is more concerned about public safety than ever before. Rice’s bravery led to calls for his arrest from all the right people, including something called DailyKos.

"Thank God for cameras and live reporting. If it weren't, the racists might have been able to spin this latest incident of hate into more victim-blaming. Of course they will try, but there is nothing better to put the haters and deniers on the spot than facts. Cold, hard, indisputable facts," Risen Tree says.

Mr. or Mrs. Tree is correct. Rice, the only man in America with the gumption to stand up to the angry mob, is indisputably a hero. The next time the national outrage machine turns the volume to 11, the packs of raving may leave productive citizens out of it. You can thank Jeffrey Patrick Rice for that.

Published under: Man of the Year