The Hero America Needs Right Now—But Who Is He?

June 23, 2016

If you're one of the 99.8 percent of people who don't watch C-SPAN or one of the 98.6 percent of people who pay no attention to Politics Twitter, you probably missed the fact that House Democrats are throwing a giant hissy fit on the floor of the House of Representatives because the GOP won't call a vote on a bill that would allow nameless bureaucrats to restrict peoples' rights with no due process protections whatsoever.

You also missed the emergence of a great American hero:

No, not Ted Deutch. The great American hero is the unnamed GOP rep who trolled Deutch so hard Deutch had to go on Twitter and cry about it because he was mad. The only response to grown people acting like babies and yelling because they are upset is to ignore them and enjoy the finer things in life: cigars, scotch, a nice leather chair, the company of friends, laughter, joy, happiness, and a nice, solid, troll.

I don't know who said this. Deutch hasn't named names. But I want to know. We all want to know. We deserve to know. This unsung hero is not the champion we deserve right now, but he is the one we need. There's a nice shiny spot on the Free Beacon Wall of Legends for this House Troll. All he needs to do is step forward and claim it.