CNN Zoom Masturbator Who Tried To Bribe Mistress To Get Abortion Laments Demise of Roe v. Wade

Laptops can't get pregnant

June 24, 2022

The Supreme Court on Friday announced its decision to overturn Roe v. Wade and eliminate the constitutional right to abortion. Minutes later, CNN senior legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin appeared on the network to denounce the Court's ruling by comparing it to the constitutional amendment that in 1919 banned the sale of alcohol.

Toobin, who remains employed at CNN despite being fired by the New Yorker for masturbating in front of colleagues on a Zoom call, had repeatedly expressed concern that the Supreme Court could take away his right to bribe his much younger mistress to get an abortion. "This is a constitutional earthquake if it stands," he said in May after the Court's decision was leaked to Politico.

The Zoom masturbator has strenuously defended the rights of cheating husbands to pressure their mistresses to terminate a pregnancy. That's exactly what Toobin, 62, tried to do in 2008 after knocking up his mistress Casey Greenfield, the 20-something daughter of his then-colleague Jeff Greenfield. Upon learning that his side piece was pregnant, Toobin "questioned the paternity, balked at submitting to a test, and vowed to take no responsibility for a baby he wasn't sure was his," according to the New York Times. He offered Greenfield "money if she'd have an abortion," the New York Daily News reported, and "when Casey wouldn't have an abortion, Jeff told her she was going to regret it, that she shouldn't expect any help from him."

Toobin reportedly told his mistress he was "going to leave his wife for her," according to the Daily News, but Greenfield eventually realized he could not be trusted and "suspected he had several other mistresses." She was forced to sue Toobin for child support, and he eventually complied after exhausting his legal options.

Fortunately for the CNN analyst, the demise of Roe v. Wade will not curtail his right to bang his coworkers' daughter or bribe future mistresses to get abortions in his home state of New York, where legislators in 2019 passed a law that legalizes abortion up to the 24th week of pregnancy. Other states have taken similar actions to ensure that abortion remains legal following the Supreme Court's decision.