Apparently today is something called “Star Wars Day.” I don’t have any patience for fake holidays or other marketing campaigns, and I am certainly not a nerd excited to take advantage of special merchandise discounts. The only reason I’m weighing in is to correct the glaring and ludicrous errors of others. Here is—most of—the extant Star Wars corpus ranked from worst to best.
I have blogged about this issue before. I have made it the subject of countless tweets. In bars and at Christmas parties I have shouted till I was blue in the face trying to explain it. I have even written a play—actually, two plays—in an attempt to draw out the seemingly latent connection between the liberal obsession with genitals—gay marriage, abortion, and so on—and their view of economic prosperity. Sooner or later my work is going to start taking a toll on my health and sanity. Thank goodness our paper of record is here to come to the rescue and spell it out plainly.