What happened: President Joe Biden, 80, finally made it official on Tuesday: He's running for reelection alongside Kamala Harris, one of the least compelling politicians in American history.
"We are in a battle for the soul of the nation," he said in a video announcement. "Let's finish the job. I know we can."
Why it matters: We probably can't "finish the job" that Biden has in mind. That's because the octogenarian president—the oldest man to ever hold the office—is statistically unlikely to survive another four-year term in the White House, according to a Washington Free Beacon analysis.
By the numbers: Science never lies, which is bad news for Sleepy Joe.
• Biden is 80.42 years old.
• If elected to a second term, Biden would be 82.17 years old by the time he is sworn in. He would be 86.17 years old by the time he leaves office.
• The Social Security Administration projects that individuals of Biden's age will live another 6.77 years on average.
• Being Hunter Biden's father is a stressful job. So is being president, even if you don't always know what's going on and often forget you're the president. Scientific studies have found that heavy stress reduces life expectancy by 2.8 years.
• Do the math: 82.17 + 6.77 - 2.8 = 86.14
• The science has spoken: 86.14 is less than 86.17
Addendum: Individuals with Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia have roughly one-half the life expectancy compared with individuals not suffering from the disease. Biden's former press secretary recently revealed that the president engages in "night wandering," a common symptom of dementia.
Taking this into account, Biden is projected to live another 0.59 years, or approximately 7 months. That's a nightmare scenario for the Democratic Party, because even Kamala Harris's (many) former staffers are terrified at the thought of her becoming president.
Bottom line: Biden is incredibly old and falls a lot. He might have Alzheimer's or another form of dementia. Harris is a terrible candidate (See: 2020 Democratic primary) but so are the people who might challenge her in the event of Biden's (statistically likely) demise. Pete Buttigieg? Gavin Newsom? J.B. Pritzker? Hillary Clinton? LOL.
Buckle up, folks.