5 Reasons Why Joe Biden Would Make a Fantastic President

Are you ready? (AP)

The Joe Biden presidential campaign has, for all intents and purposes, already begun. With President Obama having abdicated his Veterans Day duties in order to attend a dictator summit in Communist China, Biden stepped up to the plate on Tuesday by laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery.

Because the 2014 midterms were terrible for potential Biden challenger Hillary Clinton, and because the chances of President Obama resigning before the new GOP-controlled Senate takes office in January are high, the veep is strongly positioned to lead the Democratic Party into the future.

Here are the top 5 reasons why Joe Biden would make a fantastic president:

You Won’t Believe How Old the Democratic Party’s Leaders Really Are

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Sonny has already explained why millennial voters are woefully uniformed and probably should not vote. For example, most of them think Hillary is in her 50s or younger. (She just turned 67.)

Millennials would presumably be shocked to find out the true age of the Democratic Party’s leaders. In the interest of public service and transparency, it is the Free Beacon’s solemn obligation to remind them. Here’s a rundown of top Democratic leaders, and how old they will be in 2016:

Free Beacon Election Forecast: 51.7% Chance Obama Resigns After the Midterms

Will he resign? (AP)

The Free Beacon election team would like to introduce our readers to KATE, our kinetic analytics technology emulator. KATE operates an advance forecasting model that not only analyzes millions of conventional data points, but also incorporates a number of nontraditional methods to capture “ghost data” that the human brain is incapable of understanding.