Why Is Taylor Swift Ducking the Issues?

Taylor Swift, left, reacts with shock when asked about attempts to repeal the Affordable Care Act / Getty

Taylor Swift, a musician popular with "young people," is not nearly political enough for the haggard stooges employed by a media-industrial complex thirsty for fresh #content:

I have to say: I'm totally #TeamMarie on this one. AYFKM with this, Tay Tay? Here is a brief-and-incomplete list of things I need Taylor Swift to weigh in on IMMEDIATELY.

  • What is the appropriate marginal tax rate for high-earning individuals and should corporations be allowed to repatriate funds without taking a tax hit on the earnings?
  • Please explain in 200 words or fewer your thoughts on dumping nuclear waste at the Yucca Mountain site. Alternately, dedicate at least two verses to this issue in a freestyle pop song on tour. Thank you.
  • Do you believe Russian bots have conspired to influence American politics? FOLLOW UP QUESTION: Are the MAGA trolls more aggravating than the Beyhive? (The correct answer, of course, is no; the Beyhive is the greatest threat to humanity that exists.)
  • Do you think Rotten Tomatoes is right to hold the fresh/rotten score for Justice League? I mean, look, obviously Disney and Marvel are paying off the corrupt critics of this nation to slag Zack Snyder's various masterpieces, but there are still some ethical questions involved given WB's (extremely small) stake in the critic-aggregating site. The thing about it is the lamestream media has a hard time accepting that a comic book movie can have deeper thoughts than IRON MAN PUNCH STRONG you know? Jesus, it really is gross, and I for one am glad that … sorry, what were we talking about, Ms. Swift?
  • Is Metallica's best album Master of Puppets or Ride the Lightning? FOLLOW UP QUESTION: Hardwired … to Self-Destruct was actually kind of good, wasn't it?
  • Should Bill Clinton's myriad transgressions give conservatives a free pass when it comes to Roy Moore? I mean, c'mon, fair play and all that?
  • Roy Moore is a creep though, right?
  • I mean. C'mon. 14-year-olds, dude.
  • Do you believe that Donald Trump's trip to Asia was a success? What would you have had the president discuss with the leader of China? Do you concur with the commander in chief that Kim Jong Un is a fat dick?
  • lol hillary amirite way to blow it

I have so many more missives, but this is a good start. Why isn't Taylor Swift answering the questions her fans demand of her? Why is she content to just sing songs and make money? Doesn't she know that useless jagoffs on Twitter need something to argue about? Doesn't she understand she should actively work to antagonize half (or more!) of her audience in order to satisfy the unsatisfiable editors of awful women's magazines and their moronic followers on social media?

Silence is no longer an option, Ms. Swift. This is a new era. Get with the times.