Are You Ready For the Coming Chafee Moment?


Regular Beacon readers will remember that my first full-time writing job at this publication was Chafee correspondent during the last election. It was very short-lived, alas. On October 23, scarcely a week after his breakout, “I’ve never had a scandal” performance at the first Democratic presidential debate, he stunned the world by announcing to those of …

CNN Discovers New English Word: ‘Whom’s’


Continuing what has been a scoop-filled banner year for the Atlanta-based media company’s ‘Money’ vertical, reporters at CNN discovered a new word Friday: “whom’s.” It was in the course of their research into the background of Andrew Puzder, the former CEO of Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s restaurants and President Donald Trump’s nominee to head the …

The Super Bowl Is Stupid and Gross


I couldn’t watch the Super Bowl because I left my laptop charger at the office on Friday afternoon. I went to bed at 8:00 on Sunday after a very agreeable weekend. My wife and I had a guest, and the three of us worked through seven bottles of wine, a few beers, and a good amount of …

The Rabbit and the Demon; or, How Nestlé Came to Rosslyn


It was reported yesterday that the American arm of Nestlé would be moving its headquarters from Glendale, California, to the distinctly untrendy Rosslyn neighborhood of Arlington, Virginia, where Washington Free Beacon Tower is located. The announcement was made by none other than Gov. Terry McAuliffe, who told us a few weeks ago that anti-abortion legislation is “socially divisive” and bad for business. I like to imagine how the deal went down.

BREAKING: Trump Coming Out Against Infanticide, Fornication


Well, maybe. I don’t often direct readers’ attention to the British edition of Marie Claire, but this piece almost made me weep with joy: Donald Trump was sworn in as President on 20th January, and in just two weeks he has already set back women’s rights dramatically. He has restricted women’s reproductive rights, cut funding to international organizations …

Guys, Magic is Real After All, and It’s So F***ing Beautiful


Yes, you heard me right, non-Muggles. It’s the most beautiful news you’ve heard this year—maybe even the only good news. No, I don’t mean that people in Des Moines have been spotted playing Quidditch or that the CEO of Uber has been dealt a Cruciatus curse (though a witch can dream, right?): I am referring to …

Did Anyone Else Miss the National Day of Patriotic Devotion?


Much to the disappointment of every woman who has ever loved me, from my mother to my first girlfriend in seventh grade to my long-suffering wife, I have never been one for anniversaries and that sort of thing. Not long after we met, the last of these ladies did her best to help me remember …