Cancel Carl Reiner (RIP)

• June 30, 2020 5:00 pm


Fans of the arcane humor-centric concept of "comedy," which for decades promoted violence and impaired the cause of social justice by prioritizing laughter, are mourning the loss of legendary "comedian" and filmmaker Carl Reiner, who died Monday at the age of 98.

The rest of us, meanwhile, are grateful that Reiner's death has reminded us the actor should have been canceled long ago.

Canceled… for serving in the U.S. military before it was desegregated in 1948.

Canceled… for working with Woody Allen in the 1950s and failing to prevent him from becoming an abusive pedophile.

Canceled… for directing a movie (Oh, God!) that fetishizes monotheism.

Canceled… for being friends with fellow "comedian" Mel Brooks, who committed racism by wearing goldface to play Yogurt in Spaceballs and directed transphobic "comedian" Dave Chappelle in Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

Canceled… for describing convicted rapist Bill Cosby as "one of the greatest comedians this country has ever produced."

Canceled… for working with Steve Martin, who was forced to apologize for committing racism in 2013 after suggesting black people didn't know how to spell the word "lasagne."

Canceled… for appearing on and writing for The Cleveland Show, the main character of which is a black man voiced by a white actor.

Canceled… for starring in Ocean's Eleven, a film with too many bros.

Canceled… for attempting to erase the historic female candidacy of Hillary Clinton—and helping Donald Trump get elected—by endorsing her misogynist opponent (Bernie Sanders) in the 2016 Democratic presidential primary.

Canceled… for dying before having to suffer the consequences of being canceled.

Rest in peace.

Published under: Parody, Satire