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EXCLUSIVE: Free Beacon Poll Finds Strong, Powerful Support for Trump

June 11, 2020

A majority of the American people proudly and enthusiastically support President Donald J. Trump and are eager to see him reelected in November, a recent poll found.

The exclusive survey, conducted by the Institute for Fact-Based Analytics (IFBA) on behalf of the Washington Free Beacon, was based on phone interviews with more than 6,000 verified American citizens who described themselves as "extremely likely" to vote in the fall.

The poll's findings, which were strongly based on science, are curiously divergent from the findings of polls conducted by the so-called "mainstream" media. Left-wing television network CNN, for example, recently received a powerful legal statement from the Trump campaign demanding the retraction of a "phony poll" intended to "cause voter suppression, stifle momentum and enthusiasm for the President, and present a false view generally of the actual support across America for the President."

The Free Beacon/IFBA poll, on the other hand, is unlikely to be threatened with legal action due to its strict adherence to scientific methodology and its unprecedented margin of error of +/- 0.1776 percent. The poll's most notable findings, bolstered by truth, are listed below.

1) If the election were held today, for whom would you vote? 

  • Donald Trump: 61.2%
  • Joe Biden: 18.6%
  • Hillary Clinton: 11.5%
  • Melania Trump: 7.0%
  • Justin Amash: 0.1%
  • Other/Don't know: 1.6%

2) How would you rate the job President Trump has done during his first term? 

  • Perfect: 12.4%
  • Excellent: 25.7%
  • Very Good: 33.1%
  • Good: 18.5%
  • Other: 10.3%

3) In your opinion, which American president was the greatest of all time? 

  • Donald Trump: 21.2%
  • Abraham Lincoln: 16.5%
  • George Washington: 13.1%
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt: 12.6%
  • Ronald Reagan: 11.2%
  • George W. Bush: 8.6%
  • Richard Nixon: 6.9%
  • Martin Van Buren: 5.4%
  • Barack H. Obama: 4.5%

4) In your opinion, what is an appropriate height for the beautiful wall President Trump is building on the southern border? 

  • 25 feet: 16.8%
  • 50 feet: 18.5%
  • 100 feet: 26.3%
  • Higher: 24.0%
  • I don't believe in walls: 14.4%

5) Which of President Trump's adult sons do you consider the most physically attractive? 

  • Donald J. Trump Jr.: 33.6%
  • Eric Trump: 34.1%
  • Both are equally attractive: 32.3%

6) What do you consider the greatest threat to the United States?

  • Corrupt media: 24.8%
  • Hillary Clinton: 20.5%
  • Socialism: 15.1%
  • Antifa: 12.3%
  • Democrat collusion: 9.7%
  • Joe Biden: 8.3%
  • The Deep State: 7.6%
  • Donald Trump: 1.7%

7) Would you support an amendment to the U.S. Constitution that would allow President Trump to serve more than two terms in office? 

  • Yes: 52.8%
  • No: 36.5%
  • Don't know: 10.7%

8) Who killed Jeffrey Epstein?

  • Hillary Clinton: 64.6%
  • Bill Clinton: 34.3%
  • Jeffrey Epstein: 1.1%

9) [Democratic voters only] Which of the following best describes your understanding of the phrase "abolish the police"? 

  • Reform the police: 27.4%
  • Abolish the police, empty the prisons, and burn society to the ground: 72.6%

10) [Democratic voters only] If Joe Biden is elected president, which of the following issues should be his top priority? 

  • Abolish the police: 36.6%
  • High-speed rail: 13.7%
  • Eliminate banks: 9.3%
  • Maximum wage: 10.6%
  • Mandate Drag Queen Story Hour in public schools: 24.1%
  • Mandate salary parity between NBA and WNBA: 5.7%

Published under: Parody , Satire