There's no safer bet in life than hitching your wagon to an American hero, and there's no better time to place that bet than when you've got a sneaking suspicion the hero is about to go on a heater.
Enter James P. Adducci. After spending 39 years on earth without placing a single sports wager, Adducci booked a flight to Las Vegas to throw his life savings at the William Hill sports book on 14-to-1 long shot Tiger Woods to win the 83rd Masters Tournament.
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This wasn't some hunch. Adducci had to look at all the factors: Tiger's eight invasive knee and back surgeries, countless sexual affairs that derailed both his marriage and his career, a 2017 DUI arrest when the golfer was found at the wheel with five drugs—marijuana, Vicodin, Dilaudid, Xanax, and Ambien—in his system, and the fact that the 43-year-old hadn't won a major in 11 years. Adducci's determination: "I just thought it was predestined for him to win."
Now Adducci is a millionaire, and Tiger is on a roll for the history books.
Tiger, tamed by his new Jewish girlfriend Erica Herman, roared through the final round at Augusta for a thrilling come-from-behind victory. He was greeted by his son on the 18th green for an embrace that melted America's heart.
— Masters Tournament (@TheMasters) April 14, 2019
Tiger walked away not only with a new green jacket, but also an invitation to the White House, where President Donald Trump honored him as a "global symbol of American excellence, devotion, and drive."
"We are in the presence of a true legend, an extraordinary athlete who has transformed golf and achieved new levels of dominance," Trump said as he awarded Tiger the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
But that wasn't enough for Tiger, who capped off his year by leading Team America as captain during a heroic victory over the rest of the world at this month's Presidents Cup. The captain went undefeated and was hailed as the driving force behind America's come-from-behind triumph in Australia.
Tiger was all business, banning the team from drinking until victory was achieved. But following the glorious victory, as is tradition in our great nation, the drinks flowed freely. Tiger led the group, joined on the bus by the team's wives and girlfriends, in a drunken rendition of "We are the Champions."
Tiger is back. America is great again.
The Washington Free Beacon salutes Adducci for putting his faith, and his life savings, behind Tiger, the lead man in 2019's greatest redemption story.
Congrats gents, you're both well-deserving Men of the Year!