What happened: A group of Republican politicians colluded with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and other Democrats to undermine American values.
• Rogue lawmakers took part in the annual Congressional Soccer
Match Game at Audi Field in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday.
• Regrettably, the GOP squad defeated the Dem squad by a final score of 4 to 2.
Why it matters: Soccer is a fundamentally anti-American endeavor characterized by performative whining.
• The United States does not dominate the rest of the world in soccer. France, of all countries, is way better. Therefore, soccer is not a legitimate sport. Its governing body, FIFA, is among the most corrupt institutions in the world.
• American liberals love soccer because they hate America. Also, it reminds them of the time they spent three weeks studying abroad in Spain.
Enemies of freedom: Republican Reps. David Valadao of California, Garret Graves of Louisiana, Don Bacon of Nebraska, Dan Crenshaw of Texas, and Bryan Steil of Wisconsin disgraced their party and country as willing accomplices in the Democratic plot to destroy America with soccer.
• Left-wing blogger Matthew Foldi was on hand to document their scandalous behavior.