Colbert Mocks Clinton's Spontaneous Plans to Look More Spontaneous

September 14, 2015

New Late Show host Stephen Colbert dedicated a whole segment Friday night to skewering Hillary Clinton's announced plan to "crank the genuine nozzle open" and look more spontaneous.

Colbert referred to her as "former future president Hillary Clinton," a jab at the candidate's supposed inevitability that is in question as her polling numbers across the country decline. While Colbert said Clinton is qualified, he said that will not matter if she cannot project more authenticity.

"If only there was some way we could get a glimpse into the private side of Hillary Clinton," Colbert said. "I don't know, read her emails or something."

Colbert also mocked the New York Times article quoting Clinton's aides saying she would show more "humor and heart" and there would be greater efforts to "bring spontaneity" to her campaign. Colbert was not alone in finding that bit of logic amusing.

"They are off to a great start with the spontaneous run-in they had with a Times reporter to spontaneously explain their plans for spontaneity," Colbert said. "Secretary Clinton's team is making some other spontaneous changes too, like scrapping the phrase ‘everyday Americans,’ which advisers say was confusing and did not resonate. Yes, it does not resonate, because you know who doesn't say ‘everyday Americans’? Everyday Americans. They know they have to be here every day."

Colbert derided Clinton's apology for her private email server as well, noting it was a decision the campaign made after meeting with a New Hampshire focus group.

Watch the whole clip above. On another note, Colbert's fans gave screaming cheers to the news Clinton was losing to socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders (I., Vt.) in New Hampshire and Iowa, as well as crickets when Colbert said he enjoyed speaking with former Republican Florida Gov. Jeb Bush last week.