It was announced this week that the United States would be putting a woman on its currency—an idea the Washington Free Beacon put forth long ago.
Unfortunately, the public failed to get behind putting America's sweetheart Kate Upton on the $10 bill and we lacked the power to strong-arm the Treasury into making the change. That power could soon be in the hands of Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, and it looks like he will have only the likely prison-bound Hillary Clinton in his way.
Trump of course would only change the $100 bill because Trump, as a result of his many very successful companies, is very, very rich, and smaller denominations of money likely won't be needed once America is great again.
Here are ten women Trump might choose as a replacement for Benjamin Franklin:
Olivia Culpo
Olivia Culpo, a Trump Model and the only American to be crowned Miss Universe in nearly two decades, seems like a front runner.
She also used to date Ryan Lochte and Tim Tebow, who are both American heroes.
Tara Conner
Culpo isn't the only one of Trump's pageant winners who deserves to have her face on money.
Tara Conner was crowned Miss USA in 2006 and then invited criticism for partying a bit too hard with alcohol and cocaine, but Trump let her keep her crown and is credited to this day for helping her turn her life around.
Gisele Bündchen
Trump loves to reward his friends, and although pal Tom Brady may be a terrible person, he has a magnificent wife. He also owns a Make America Great Again hat, which is good enough for Trump.
Megyn Kelly
Trump has had his issues with Megyn Kelly, but they are in the midst of a détente that looks like it may last. The fighting was tough on Kelly, who just revealed that she chopped off her hair during the Trump feud.
Trump may make nice by throwing her on money with a shot of long-haired Kelly.
Ivanka Trump
Trump may put Ivanka on the $100 just so he can see pictures of her more often. Here are a few things Trump has said about his daughter:
"You know who’s one of the great beauties of the world, according to everybody? And I helped create her. Ivanka. My daughter, Ivanka. She’s 6 feet tall, she’s got the best body. She made a lot money as a model—a tremendous amount."
"[Ivanka posing for Playboy] would be really disappointing—not really—but it would depend on what’s inside the magazine. I don’t think Ivanka would do that, although she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her."
Paris Hilton
Trump has been an admirer of Paris Hilton since 1993 aka since she was 12 years old.
"I’ve known Paris Hilton from the time she’s 12. Her parents are friends of mine, and, you know, the first time I saw her, she walked into the room and I said, ‘Who the hell is that?’" Trump once said.
Luckily, he "wasn't interested." "Well, at 12, I wasn’t interested. I’ve never been into that. They’re sort of always stuck around that 25 category," he said. Now at the age of 35, it would be completely appropriate for Trump to throw her on the $100 bill. So it's definitely a possibility.
Sarah Palin
Not much of a feat when your competition includes Chris Christie, but Sarah Palin is by far Trump's most attractive surrogate. She could be rewarded.
Tila Tequila
Politics today is all about breaking barriers. Tila Tequila would get two birds stoned at once by being both the first woman to be put on American money and also the first porn star.
'Babes for Trump'
Trump loves his fans, as he tells them during every single one of his rallies. One group of fans, the one that created the Babes For Trump Instagram account, is certainly deserving of that love.
Melania Trump
Melania will almost certainly be put on the $100 dollar bill, or a larger denomination that doesn't even exist yet.
My money is on "Fierce Melania," pictured above, but "Melania on a Piano" is also a contender.
