In the latest mini-Substandard, JVL, Vic, and I discussed the Kentucky Derby, and I recounted a harrowing tale from a recent party that quickly devolved into a Lord of the Flies-style horror show. Mostly, though, I blathered on about Mint Juleps. And then I got to thinking: What are the best drinks associated with holidays? After the podcast (subscribe! Rate!), we'll rank them, as is our wont.
OK, from worst to best, here they are:
5. Eggnog — Christmas
I've never actually had Eggnog, but I assume it's as disgusting as this Wikimedia Commons image makes it look. My God.
4. Hurricanes — Mardi Gras
Nyeh.
3. Margaritas — Cinco de Mayo
Obviously the only good margaritas are served by Chili's. I can't believe I missed the deal above: You can't find a better combo. Bummer.
2. Guinness — St. Patrick's Day
I guess Guinness is the closest thing to an official drink of St. Patrick's Day? Moreso than the Irish Car Bombs (the bartenders sometimes get a bit salty when you order those), I guess. Or you could go with just straightforward "Irish Whiskey." Whatever, Guinness is pretty good.
1. Mint Julep — Kentucky Derby
Tastes like America.