Warning: The following post contains harmful misinformation that is likely part of a foreign influence operation to interfere in American politics. Some readers may find it disturbing, while other readers may be too dumb to avoid getting brainwashed. Please proceed with caution.
Hillary Clinton has written a new book. Something Lost, Something Gained: Reflections on Life, Love, and Liberty is due out in mid-September, roughly eight years after the author suffered a health episode and nearly collapsed on the campaign trail in Manhattan.
We regret to inform you that, per the results of a Washington Free Beacon analysis, the promotional materials for Hillary's forthcoming book are dangerously misleading at best. The author's photo on the cover image, for example, has been deceptively edited beyond all recognition. Our analysts were unable to verify the identity of the individual who appears in the image.
Given the appropriate caution that media outlets have taken with respect to suspicious material—including the Associated Press's decision in March to retract a "manipulated" photo of Kate Middleton—the Free Beacon is refusing to publish the photo without including the following crucial context to enhance our readers' ability to discern fact from fiction.
The egregious photo wasn't the only thing we found disturbing. The promotional text from Simon & Schuster claims Hillary will explain in the book how she moved "past her dream of being president." That's a blatant lie. She will never get over losing to Donald Trump in 2016 and has repeatedly suggested the election was stolen.
Based on the scandal surrounding the cover image, we assess that the publisher's claim about Hillary showing readers "how to age with grace" is also dangerously misleading. We were especially alarmed by the statement from Hillary's editor, Priscilla Painton, who claimed the book would reveal "the Hillary Americans have come to know and love: candid, engaged, humorous, self-deprecating—and always learning."
Rarely do we encounter a sentence comprised almost entirely of demonstrably false words. As such, we are forced to conclude that Something Lost, Something Gained is the work of a sinister foreign actor seeking to erode the pillars of American democracy through misinformation, propaganda, and kompromat. We can't let them win. The Free Beacon will never stop arming our readers with the critical weaponry required to fight back against these vile attempts to corrupt American minds.
Stay alert! Be vigilant!