Famous Fathers, Infamous Sons: Joe Biden v. King Salman of Saudi Arabia

Who's the better boy: Hunter Biden or Mohammed bin Salman?

Saudi king Salman bin Abdulaziz and Joe Biden (Reuters)
July 15, 2022

President Joe Biden visited oil-rich Saudi Arabia on Friday to grovel before its authoritarian leader, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS), in a desperate attempt to stem the soaring price of gasoline in the United States. The president fist-bumped MBS upon arriving in Jeddah, which was an embarrassing moment. Not quite as embarrassing, however, as Barack H. Obama's servile bow before the late King Abdullah during his 2009 apology tour.

The trip revealed that Biden's campaign pledge to make Saudi Arabia "pay the price" for human rights abuses—including the 2018 murder and bone-saw dismemberment of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi—and "make them in fact the pariah that they are" was a blatant lie. (Yes, a lie. The Washington Free Beacon is using that word in contravention of longstanding journalistic norms in an effort to highlight the president's dangerous dishonesty.)

Above all, Biden's trip to Saudi Arabia provides an opportunity to discuss a topic the American mainstream media too often neglect: fatherhood. One of the reasons why the president's meeting with MBS is so significant is that the crown prince is merely the country's de facto leader after gently seizing control from his 86-year-old father, King Salman bin Abdulaziz al Saud.

Shortly after Biden took office in 2021, the White House insisted that King Salman—not the 36-year-old MBS—was "the president's counterpart" in Saudi Arabia. Friday's fist-bump suggests otherwise. Nevertheless, Biden and King Salman have a lot in common. As of Nov. 20, they will both be octogenarians. More importantly, they both understand what it's like to be the famous father of an infamous son.

Speaking of which, Hunter Biden and MBS have a fair amount in common as well. They are both fans of prostitutes and cocaine. Hunter's exploits are legendary, of course, but almost certainly pale in comparison with the debauchery of the crown prince. New York Times reporter Ben Hubbard noted in his 2020 book, MBS: The Rise to Power of Mohammed bin Salman, that MBS once rented out an entire resort in the Maldives and "hosted a string of blowout parties." Shakira and Pitbull reportedly performed at the gatherings, which also featured "an abundance of prostitutes and cocaine."

READ MORE: 'Bareback Rocket Ride': The Hunter Biden Story

Both sons would presumably have amounted to nothing if not for their powerful dads, who helped finance their lavish and degenerate lifestyles. Just as MBS tapped the royal bank account to pay for his drug-fueled island orgies, Hunter persuaded Joe to keep wiring him money to help cover his $30,000 escort bill. It is safe to say that Hunter is more likely than MBS to film himself having threesomes with crack-addled hookers, but who's to judge?

Hunter and MBS both have five children, although King Salman probably recognizes all of them, unlike Joe, who continues to deny the existence of the baby girl Hunter sired with a stripper named "Dallas." To be fair, it is not publicly known how many children MBS has fathered with strippers and prostitutes who may not enjoy the protections granted by the U.S. justice system.

Unlike his Saudi counterpart, the Biden heir has not yet been credibly accused of murdering and dismembering a journalist. Yet Hunter does enjoy some of the same benefits afforded to Saudi royalty. For example, U.S. mainstream media outlets and tech companies actively suppressed negative stories about Hunter during his father's 2020 presidential campaign. The revelations once denounced as "fake news" have since been largely corroborated.

It is difficult to say, given the facts, which famous father has raised the better boy. Perhaps the most notable difference between Joe Biden and King Salman is that the elderly and infirm Saudi royal knew when it was time to call it quits and hand power to a younger generation. Biden does not appear to share this outlook. This is not to suggest that he should anoint Hunter as his heir apparent, although there's no question the whore-loving crackhead scion would get more votes than Kamala Harris.