The career of a WWE "Total Diva" runs in a cycle. At dawn, a newbie searches for her big break. She grinds it out in the developmental league, honing her ring and mic skills while slowly assembling a fan base.
In the case of the Machiavellian Eva Marie, her beauty is matched only by her ambition.
Being Fandango’s permanent dance partner is her ticket to the big show. Eva Marie lies to management that she can dance and kinda cheats on her newly minted fiancé to score an audition with a WWE superstar, who must have taken lessons on gender relations from the mayor of San Diego.
For the Funkadactyls, the cycle is at high noon. Their careers are going swimmingly enough. Their biggest complaint is that after the wardrobe malfunction at WrestleMania, it's time to find new unis. Ariane’s selection of alternate attire leads to Trinity having a booty crisis.
The duo was forced to look for old costumes. They lacked spark.
Speaking of closets, I was half-expecting a closet in John Cena’s massive crib to have a full service sweat shop that produces his rainbow t-shirts.
Questions linger.
1) How iron clad of a prenup did John Cena sign to keep James Franco's stuff from "Spring Breakers?"
2) Will Brie survive her marriage to Daniel Bryan in a log cabin in brutally cloudy western Washington? The Bella twins, after all, are on the downside of the cycle.
Poor Brie: she follows up flossing in her sister's mansion with family bonding at the boo's crib, chopping wood.
But back to Eva Marie. As one might expect as the cycle reaches its end, her lies catch up with her.
In light of the grease fire that was her audition with Fandango, she may not make it to the big time.