AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY: KATE UPTON ENGAGED

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It is with great regret that I must report that Kate Upton, our finest existing representation of American greatness and muse of the Washington Free Beacon, is off the market and has been for weeks. Upton announced the engagement at last night’s Met Gala by showing up wearing an engagement ring given to her by Detroit Tigers pitcher …

Kate Upton Loves Puppies

Kate Upton Instagram

Kate Upton solidified her status as America’s greatest woman this weekend. She hosted an event to help find housing for homeless puppies by matching them with military veterans suffering from PTSD.

This was the second year Upton held the Grand Slam Adoption Event with boyfriend Justin Verlander while he is in Florida for Detroit Tiger spring training. Last year’s event was “glorious,” according to my analysis, and this year’s was just as good.

Look at how happy these pups are just to be in the same place as Kate Upton:

Kate Upton’s Fashion Week Looks Continue to Dazzle

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New York Fashion Week has been all about Kate Upton, who has shed her image as a mere swimsuit model to become an icon in the high fashion world.

Just when it seemed like her looks couldn’t get much better, she showed up Wednesday night at the Harper’s Bazaar Icons event at the Plaza Hotel in a dress that reminded everybody why Upton is America’s Model.

Idris Elba Should NOT Be the Next Bond

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The big dumb Internet fight this week revolved around the author of some recent James Bond books saying that Idris Elba is “too street” to play Bond. Obviously, this was deeply problematic.

But, honestly, I think the real problem here is that Elba himself is not nearly progressive enough a choice. Sure, a “black Bond” would be cool. But a truly liberated Hollywood would do the right thing and pick a female Bond.

Whoa, whoa, clam down. I know this is a radical proposition. But ladies can be special agents too. Allow me to suggest a few fantastic choices for Jamie Bond.