The Washington Free Beacon was shocked to find the New York Post reporting that Kate Upton’s ego is “ruining her career.”
After spending the entirety of the 39 hours since the report was published analyzing the full body of her work, however, we have found that the Post is terribly mistaken. Kate Upton is just as perfect as ever and is doing great.
America’s most celebrated celebrity has a passion for war—the game, that is. Kate Upton is urging her Twitter followers to “check her out” by downloading “Game of War—Fire Age,” a new game app available on iTunes.
So excited! I’ve waited so long to be in a game! Check me out! https://t.co/YbEWLHEIA5
The Free Beacon’s election model, KATE, continues her meta-analysis of the 2014 midterms. Last week, she predicted that President Obama would probably resign before the end of the year. This week, KATE used her unconventional methods to project Democratic turnout on Election Day. You’ll never guess what she found.
Kate Upton’s highly anticipated #icebucketchallenge was everything we could have asked for. However, it pains me as the resident Kate Uptonologist that her contribution to ALS research had a significant shortcoming.