How to Talk About Star Wars at Thanksgiving With Your Ignorant, Rebellion-Backing Uncle

space terrorist

Tensions will apparently be running high this year at Thanksgiving. Weblogs as varied as the Washington Free Beacon and VOX DOT COM are offering guides on how to get through Turkey Day without brutally murdering your closest kin for daring to suggest that immigrants speak English, or whatever. But there’s one topic no one has really broached yet, one avenue of discussion no one has told us how to DOMINATE and DESTROY. And with the upcoming release of Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens And Then Hits Snooze Because Crap Man It Had Twelve Drinks Last Night, it’s a topic that’s more important than ever to have a handle on.

Fortunately, I’m all over it. Here’s the only guide you need in order to intelligently discuss Star Wars with your ignorant, backwards, space-terrorist-supporting uncle.

A couple of things to remember before engaging in any argument with an apologist for the Republic:

Mini-Review: ‘Trainwreck’

All you need to be happy is to settle down and find a good mate: The Apatow Doctrine

It’s that wonderful time of the year when studios send screeners to critics in an effort to boost a movie’s chances of winding up in the discussion for end-of-year awards/best-of lists. Trainwreck, now available on home video and OnDemand, is one such movie.  I’ll be writing a few of these as the year winds down and I catch up on flicks I missed.

‘The Christmas Virtues,’ Available Now!

christmas virtues

Jonathan V. Last’s “Virtues Trilogy”—which began with the deadly virtues before moving onto the Dadly virtues—concludes in epic fashion today with the publication of The Christmas Virtues: A Treasury of Conservative Tales for the Holidays.

Lamestream Media Finally Recognizes Rebel Alliance = Al Qaeda

Darth Cheney (AP)

I’ve been saying it for years, but now the (Spanish) mainstream media is finally acknowledging the truth:   Biased headline here from Mashable, to be quite honest: There’s no “confusion.” Al Qaeda is just a modern-day offshoot of that band of terrorists that tried to take over a galaxy far away long ago. This makes …

Charlie Sheen Has HIV. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (AP)

Rumors and blind items had been swirling about for the last few weeks in the gutter press (you know, where you find the Free Beacon) about a major A-list actor with HIV. As more details were revealed, people became more convinced that it was Charlie Sheen and, lo and behold, today Sheen appeared on the Today Show with Matt Lauer to announce to the world that he has HIV. The response, as best as I can tell?