Miley’s Date Deserves To Be Homeless

Miley Cyrus poses with her homeless 'date' to MTV's VMAs / AP

Miley Cyrus’ homeless “date” for the MTV Video Music Awards is homeless because of his own horrible life decisions. It may not be politically correct, but it’s true (the two often go hand in hand).

Ending the Starbucks ‘Pay-It-Forward’ Cult, for America

Wikimedia Commons

My new American hero is Peter Schorsch. He should be yours too.

Peter Schorsch did something for our nation that took courage and conviction. He knew he’d be assaulted for it, and he did it anyway and then stood by his actions. Even bragged about it. He held to his convictions and said he’d do it again, no matter how unpopular it made him. Peter Schorsch did what we all thought about doing but didn’t have the guts.

MSNBC Wouldn’t Be This Calm If Tea Party Protesters Threw Rocks at Their Hosts

ChrisHayesTeaParty

After witnessing the spectacle of MSNBC host Chris Hayes getting pelted with rocks by an angry mob in Ferguson, Mo., Monday night, I was struck by a feeling of anger and frustration. Not at the rioters. Rioters throw rocks. That’s what they do. My anger was at the despicable display of “tolerance” and “understanding” displayed by Hayes, as he lowered his expectations for civil behavior to accommodate his liberal need to be accepted by the mob.

Feds: It Costs $245,340 To Raise Your Kid

AP

According to a new report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, raising a child born in 2013 will cost parents close to a quarter million bucks. $245,340 to be exact. (Over $300,000 if adjusted for anticipated inflation.)

And, thank God we have the federal government to explain it all to you. I mean, my guess is that most millennials starting their careers, falling in love, and thinking of starting a family (they still do these things in that order, don’t they?) have absolutely no idea that bringing children into the world might affect their spending money and future financial planning.

Fear not youngsters, Uncle Sam is here with well-financed research to explain it all for you.

Dear Manning Brothers: Don’t Rap Again

Screen Shot 2014-08-13 at 9.10.27 AM

Peyton and Eli Manning can play football really well. They’ve won a few Super Bowl rings and they’ve made millions confounding defensive coordinators in the AFC and NFC, respectively.

Peyton has also shown his comedic acting chops by appearing on a legendary episode of Saturday Night Live as well as a plethora of TV commercials. His self-deprecating humor helps humanize him to the American public and gives him the kind of likability that advertising agencies crave in their spokesmen.