Satire

Stacey Abrams Fails Possible VP Vetting Test

Aspiring running mate reports no calls from Biden campaign

Former state legislator and self-declared Georgia governor Stacey Abrams is desperate to be Joe Biden's running mate in 2020. Unfortunately, she may have just failed a vetting test orchestrated by the former vice president's campaign.

As Abrams explained in an interview with MSNBC's Chris Hayes on Wednesday, she encountered difficulties attempting to vote by mail in Georgia's primary election earlier this week.

"I filled [the ballot] out and when I got ready to put it in the return envelope, it was sealed shut," Abrams said. "I then attempted to steam it open because I watch too many mystery shows. It did not work, and so yesterday I went to stand in line with fellow Georgians to cast my ballot."

Abrams and other Democrats argued the long lines and technical glitches that plagued the Georgia election on Tuesday were the result of Republican-orchestrated "malfeasance" intended to suppress the vote and put "voters of color at risk of not being heard in our democracy."

Abrams elaborated during an interview with Stephen Colbert on CBS. She suggested the GOP voter suppression plan for November involved hiring "off-duty officers, off-duty ICE officers to challenge the legitimacy of voters and try to scare them into leaving."

Just as disturbingly, Abrams told Colbert that Joe Biden might not be considering Stacey Abrams for the vice presidential nomination. "I have said many times if called I will answer, but I have not received any calls," Abrams said when asked whether she was being vetted by Biden's campaign.

However, one explanation for Abrams's ballot mishap, according to at least one expert analysis, is that the sealed envelope was actually a test administered at the behest of Biden's vice presidential vetting committee. It would explain why the campaign hasn't reached out to her.

Abrams has been one of the loudest voices urging Biden to pick Stacey Abrams as his running mate and has expressed "concern" that Biden will make the wrong choice by not selecting her.

Biden has already pledged that his vice presidential candidate will be a woman. His running mate will likely face heightened scrutiny due to Biden's advanced age and cognitive decline.