Peace, Greenpeace. Thanks to fossil fuel billionaire Kelcy Warren, 2025 will be the year we can finally bid adieu to the OG climate crazies.
Warren—who famously proclaimed environmental protesters need to be "removed from the gene pool"—took Greenpeace to court a few years back. His lawsuit seeks hundreds of millions of dollars in damages from the eco group for coordinating illegal protests that blocked construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline, which his company owns. That should be enough to permanently cripple Greenpeace, which now acknowledges the suit is "an existential threat" to its operations in the United States. Well, hot damn.
Greenpeace activists, as you may remember, tried to physically stop construction of the pipeline in 2016. You really knew they meant business when Bernie Sanders, Black Lives Matter, and C-list actress Shailene Woodley (best known for making Aaron Rodgers bad at football) all got involved.
The protest temporarily delayed construction of some portions of the pipeline. Then the police sound cannons, K-9 units, and pepper spray worked their magic. Hundreds were arrested. The pipeline marched on.
Still, even as Warren finished building the 1,172-mile pipeline, he wasn't satisfied. It was time to annihilate Greenpeace once and for all. And the crowd went wild.
Warren filed the suit against Greenpeace in 2019. The group's attorney complained that Warren was "trying to bully Greenpeace through the legal system." He was right. For the better part of five years, Warren has given Greenpeace legal swirlies and wedgies galore. Soon, he'll take Greenpeace's lunch money, ending this saga once and for all.
Throughout the case, Greenpeace has used every defense and scare tactic they could possibly think up: This is an attack on free speech! Corporate overreach! An attempt to silence legitimate work protecting our environment!
"No matter who you are, no matter what your politics are, this is one of the most important issues in America right now," the group's spokesman, Rolf Skar, said in August.
We agree, Rolf. Greenpeace's annihilation is vitally important to American prosperity. That's why we're all looking forward to February, when a North Dakota jury is expected to deliver a final smackdown against Greenpeace.
We will all be better for it. And Warren will be a Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.
