For those outside the Beltway, one might assume dating is a less political enterprise. Rather than meeting potential spouses at think tank happy hours, debate societies, or on the campaign trail—couples most commonly meet at school or work. The latest season of the popular Netflix dating show Love is Blind revealed that while love may be blind, it has never been more political.
This season, which took place in Minneapolis, ended with two couples separating over their conflicting views on LGBT issues, Black Lives Matter, the COVID-19 vaccine, and abortion. In a now viral clip, one contestant, Sarah, left her fiancé at the altar saying, "I love you so much but I’ve always wanted a partner to be on the same wavelength." She, along with one of her costars, Virginia, said she was turned off by her potential spouse's political views.
Each side of the internet took it as an opportunity to advance their own arguments. Conservatives criticized the women’s progressive positions and liberals praised their willingness to stand up for their beliefs. Despite the jarring imagery of a runaway bride, these moments were the most realistic in an otherwise idyllic and impractical show.
Following November’s election results, men were accused of a profound rightward shift; podcast-bro culture commentators were allegedly responsible for Kamala Harris’s loss. In reality, women are much more to blame for the gender gap, having moved further left while men have stayed relatively stable. Gallup polling from last year showed 40 percent of women ages 18-29 identified as very liberal or liberal compared with just 25 percent of men.
This gender gap is compounded by women and Democrats’ shared distaste for dating outside their party. The Hill cataloged this by interviewing women who had ended or failed to start relationships with those whom they disagreed with politically. Pew data from 2020 showed 71 percent of Democrats and just 47 percent of Republicans said they would be unwilling to date someone who voted for their opposing presidential candidate.
This has created a very real problem in the American dating scene, one where increasingly left-leaning women want to date left-leaning men who don’t exist in the same quantity. The more of a dealbreaker it is for them, the more uncoupled people there will be. This was a problem that played out on season eight of Love is Blind, which ended with only one couple getting married.
The show’s premise is a respectable one. Couples meet in "the pods" where they cannot see one another, getting the opportunity to know each other, and hopefully develop a "connection" without any knowledge of how the other looks. They are then able to meet in person if they decide to get engaged, and have a month from then on to prepare for their wedding day. In a culture of dating apps and The Bachelor, which are often superficial and transactional, this design certainly stands out. As I watched, however, I couldn’t help but think, "Would this really work for people with strong political or religious views?"
Religion was, of course, also a factor in these viral breakups.
Both men who were left at the altar, Ben and Devin, professed to be strong believers very early on in the season. Devin declined to continue pursuing a relationship with another contestant after she said she was bisexual. Later, he told Virginia that his family typically votes for conservatives, "because they are on the side of what their teachings are for their religion." Ben, while consistently stressing he "hadn’t thought much about" politics, did continue to place his faith at the center of their discussions, even bringing Sarah to church.
Their female partners seemed to appreciate their faith—in the case of Virginia it was something she shared, but not the valence it took on when projected onto the guys’ behavior at the ballot box. Ben and Devin’s disproportional traditionalism tracks with national trends as well, where for the first time young men are more religious than young women.
There is also an increasingly strong relationship between religious and political affiliations in American life, with Protestants being 50 percent more likely to identify as Republicans than Democrats. Therefore, while women like Sarah and Virginia may like a man’s faith, conservative politics may come with the package.
This season of Love is Blind proved that while "strong connections" can form without lust, they struggle to stand up to the left-right divide. Though the average person cannot spend 40 days in an "experiment" looking for their spouse, they do face many of the same complicated questions as the contestants, making the show both surprisingly relatable and insightful—whether inside the Beltway or beyond.