The stupid scandal du jour revolves around whether or not Katy Perry is guilty of "cultural appropriation" for wearing a geisha costume at the American Music Awards. "Cultural appropriation" is, at heart, a defining down of "blackface" (and "yellowface" and "brownface" and the rest) that allows the perpetually aggrieved to be angry. "Well sure, you didn't paint your face yellow and wear buckteeth," they might say. "But you totes wore this costume and that's just as bad! How dare you be so ignorant!"
I have no particular interest in discussing "cultural appropriation" because those who think it's a thing about which one should get all huffy will not be convinced otherwise.* I was far more interested in this bit of a HuffPo FAQ about how one can tell if they're a no good, very bad appropriator:
Cultural appropriation refers to picking and choosing elements of a culture by a member of another culture without permission. This includes traditional knowledge, religious symbols, artifacts or any other unauthorized use of cultural practice or ideation.
Emphasis mine, because I'd like you to think about this for a moment. Specifically, you might ask yourself, "Well, who do I go to get permission? Must I fill out a 27B/6? Is there a waiting period? Or can I immediately begin appropriating after receiving permission from this mythical cohort of permission-givers?"
Unfortunately, HuffPo's Lauren Duca never spells out which bureau we are to grovel before in order to get our Appropriation Permits or what the application process is like. One wonders if there isn't even an officially sanctioned bureau in existence. That's the true, unblinking horror of cultural appropriation: There may not even be a government bureau set up to distribute Appropriation Permits. Disgusting, that. It's really disturbing to think about how far we have to go as a society, you know?
*But, seriously folks: Getting upset about cultures borrowing from each other is not only stupid, it's anti-American. The melting pot and such. Jesus this is absurd.