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Politically Correct Costuming

• April 4, 2013 12:34 pm

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There has been much angst in the lady-nerd/lady-nerd-ally community recently over the fact that female comic book characters are frequently portrayed unrealistically and are clothed in costumes that are ill-suited for battle. "Why would women fight evil so scantily clad!" cry all of the people who spend their time professionally missing the point. Don't worry, though: io9 is here to help!

In a post titled "Fully clothed female superheroes finally look like they can fight crime in the winter," we are treated to the illustrated stylings of one Michael Lee Lunsford. Check them out, I'll wait here. Get an eyeful? Which was your favorite? Personally, I liked Wonder Woman. Because nothing screams "Amazon Warrior!" more than creased khaki slacks stuffed into boots worn underneath a blue-and-red skirt with stars on them. Makes a lot of sense.

Personally, I'm glad that someone's finally tackling the scourge of unrealistic portrayals of the human body in comic books. As a child, I grew up with grossly harmful concepts of what the male body should look like. I mean, check out this Spider-Man fella:

Spider-Man

God, I'll never be able to pull off a skintight outfight like that. Look at that muscle tone! Time to start binging and purging, you know what I mean?

Or this Hulk guy. I know he's got thick skin, but wouldn't he be better off wearing more than just some tattered short shorts?

The Hulk

Don't we owe it to our young men to give them a more realistic expectation of what the male body should look like? Look at those muscles! This could really hurt their self-esteem. And that outfit doesn't even make sense! Shouldn't he wear some armor or something if he's fighting helicopters armed with machine guns and rockets and what not? Come on!

Even the non-super superheroes give us nothing to aspire to. Look at Bruce Wayne!

Bruce Wayne

There's Bruce, strutting around shirtless, with his Don Draper-like square jaw, narrow waist, and chiseled abs. Just ridiculous! Men don't look like that!

So kudos to you, pedants! It's time someone tackled the scourge of comic book characters looking like they were something dreamed up to fulfill fantasies that take place in an utterly unrealistic world. After all, who wants to see anyone wear costumes like these?

Just outrageous

Published under: Humor