New Justice League Trailer!

new justice league trailer
The hero we need right now -- but not the one we deserve / AP

Look, obviously Zack Snyder's latest film will be one of the best movies of the year. No one denies this! That's why JVL, Vic, and I carved out a few minutes to chat about the new Justice League trailer for a Substandard mini-episode. (Subscribe! Leave a review!)

You can watch the whole trailer here:

I want to highlight four things. Thing the first: I love the Nolan-esque landscape shots that Snyder employs to set the tone of Bruce Wayne's (Ben Affleck) trip to find Aquaman (Jason Momoa):

Thing the second: The most worrying thing about this trailer is the CGI, specifically the CGI that is used to bring Cyborg to life.

Cyborg's a pretty garbage hero anyway—I mean, seriously; how did he turn into a top-tier guy that DC is always jamming into their various live-action and cartoon programming?—and the additional challenge of bringing him to life via clunky CGI could really hurt the entire proceedings.

People often complain about the "darkness" and "brooding" and "dreary intensity" and "somber palettes" and "self-seriousness" of Zack Snyder's DCCU films, but that's because most people are children who can't handle something a little more intellectual in their comic book movies. That being said, the best moment in the trailer is clearly meant to be this one:

Solid comic timing, a good laugh line: excellent! Throw the pigs some slop so they'll shut up about how these movies "aren't funny enough because we are babies who need to laugh and laugh like little children."

And, finally, we have: AQUABRO!

Needless to say, the perpetually aggrieved are already finding reasons to declare Justice League problematic:

Maybe—and I'm just spitballing here—people who clamor for diversity in films should be happy about this movie that stars a white guy, an Israeli woman, a black guy, a gay guy, and a Pacific-Islander? It's practically the Epcot Center up in Justice League, which is kind of a triumph for the people who have been pushing for diversity all this time, right? Maybe quit moaning for once in your miserable life?

(LOL who am I kidding? Sing it with me: Everything's a problem / Everything's uncool when you're always aggrieved / EVERYTHING'S A PROBLEM / AND YOU'RE ALWAYS WHINY)