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King James and the Serfs

AP
May 31, 2013

If the smoke show intern can’t catch a break on the Hill or is unable to contact me about my offer to join the WFB, perhaps the young lady could send in an application to LeBronJames.com to intern for LeBron James. Right now the position is available only to currently enrolled students, but if she’s as legit as she’s been billed, I could see Maverick Carter making an exception in this case.

In my distinguished career interning for such sterling organizations as the Washington Mystics and a local radio station, I’ve never encountered such a daunting intern application process as LeBron’s.

Among the qualifications required to be the King’s serf are access to a computer, knowledge of basketball, strong team skills, and proficiency in social media. Specifically, LeBron is looking for students in Ohio, South Florida, and New York (possible hint that LeBron headed to the Nets/Knicks???). This internship a full-time gig, requiring interns to work 10 hours a week from the spring through the fall, which makes sense, considering that posting LeBron's selfies is a job in itself.

LeBron takes selfies too
LeBron takes selfies too

LeBron is only the latest mogul to seize control of his brand. Staying true to his ultimate goal of being a "global icon," every step of LeBron's career has been meticulously controlled, from "The Decision" to hiring his own interns. No wonder he and the Carters are such good friends.

Obviously, I am booking a ticket on the first train to Ohio just to get a crack at applying. Peeping LeBron’s website for the first time is an experience. It even has a "Dating" section.

Find Love on LeBronJames.com
Find Love on LeBronJames.com

Comparing LeBron’s vanity site to other athletes' makes it abundantly clear why the man needs interns. A lot of work is required to create something of quality, and LeBron has one of the best websites out there.

The King of Vanity Sites
The King of Vanity Sites

Kobe Bryant's and Kevin Durant’s sites are drab in comparison.

KB Doesn't Dominate Athlete's Vanity Sites
KB Doesn't Dominate Athlete's Vanity Sites
Second Place Website
Second Place Website

Tiger's and Federer's sites are just as pedestrian.

Tennis GOAT's website pretty lame
Tennis GOAT's website pretty lame
Tiger doesn't got it on the web
Tiger doesn't got it on the web

The most egregiously boring sites are those of professional football players. TomBrady.com takes you to his Facebook and PeytonManning.com directs you to his foundation’s website, which is in desperate need of web design interns of its own.

Who still uses Facebook?
Who still uses Facebook?
Peyton doesn't have a vanity site.
Peyton doesn't have a vanity site.

Published under: Basketball , Sports