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Fact: Eva Green Is the Best

Eva Green: Almost certainly the only reason to watch 'Dark Shadows'
March 12, 2015

I get the sense that if this "feature" about Eva Green were written by a man—with the dek of "Whether she's stark naked or not, it's impossible to tear your gaze away from Eva Green"—denunciations would come fast and furious.

Fortunately, the author's name is Anne Billson, so we can leer along with her and not fear judgment. Here's Billson:

Green is an enigma, hiding in plain sight. She's a femme fatale with as many female admirers as male ones, a Bond girl who all but ate Bond for breakfast. Her beauty is of the troubling sort that drives prim conformists mad – they're forever wanting her to fix her teeth, go easy on the eye make-up, tone down the witchiness and look like everyone else. 

Onscreen nudity is no big deal for her (as it tends not to be for French actresses) yet somehow, the more she reveals, the more enigmatic she becomes.

It is a bit odd that Eva Green hasn't become a bigger star. As one of the seven people who has seen both Sin City: A Dame to Kill For and 300: Rise of an Empire, I can assure you that she is the best thing in them by far. That may sound like damnation with faint praise, but it really isn't.

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Eva Green is, simply, magnetic. There's a fierce vitality to her, a mad energy in her eyes that shines through regardless of the role she's playing. It's no exaggeration to say that she makes even the most absurd of films worth watching. And movie studios are wise to promote that fact:

The MPAA doesn't want you to see this poster
The MPAA doesn't want you to see this poster

Green is more than just a sultry bombshell, however. There's an impish quality to her work, as if she's channeling the trickster gods of old every time she steps in front of the camera.

But she has a sensitive side too. Her vulnerability rarely peeks through, making it all the more moving when it shows up.

Who else but Eva Green could melt Daniel Craig's heart of ice?

Still, it's the wily madness we come for. 300: Rise of an Empire is oddly dull and lifeless, a surprise given the manic exuberant gallows humor of the original. She's the only person onscreen at any given moment who actually appears to be having any fun, a crucial sentiment in a movie as stylized and absurd as that flick. If you can't crack a smile during that movie's over-the-top sex scene, what's the point in living?

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Anyway, I'm not saying that Eva Green should win all the Oscars (though she probably should). I am saying that I look forward to seeing her onscreen whenever I can. And there's no higher compliment you can pay an actor.