Culture

Bicyclists: Still Terrible

You know who else rode bicycles? (AP)

Courtland Milloy vs. Aggrieved Bicyclists is basically the Iran-Iraq War of awful D.C. windbags. If there were anyway for them to both lose, we'd all win. I mean, even when Milloy's writing about the worst of the worst—you know, bicyclists—he does it in a smug, pretty racist, entirely douchey sort of way that obscures the larger point (bicyclists and their general level of terribleness) in order to highlight his preoccupation with "The Plan."

That being said, Milloy does make a number of good points about how dreadful bicycles are and how the people who use them tend to be smug jackasses. And the smug jackasses, being smug, whiny jackasses, are doing the smuggest, whiniest thing they can think of: protesting outside of the Washington Post. Matt Cohen is on the (utterly pathetic) scene:

 

Ugh, look at those tools. On the one hand, it's nice to have them all in one place so we can more easily round them up and send them to reeducation camps. On the other, gross. Get a car, you bunch of hippies.

Apparently the bicyclists are upset because Milloy said that it might be worth it to hit a bicyclist or two with your car when they're being super-annoying (i.e., all the time). I agree that it's probably wrong to murder bicyclists, but being polite about it—as John Kelly would have you be—doesn't really drive the point home. Because bicyclists, as we know, are terrible.

Anyway, I'm going to saunter over the protest now and throw some bags of dog doo at the dreadful people circling the WaPo. Feel free to join me! You know you hate them just as much as I do.