More Anti-American Moments from ‘First Man’

First Man

Over the weekend, First Man (which is good!) opened to a disappointing $16.5 million, modestly underperforming expectations. Perhaps it's because the film was fending off challenges from all quadrants, with Venom soaking up younger audiences and A Star Is Born captivating older viewers looking for a little melodrama. Perhaps it's because it's a 2.5 hour historical drama, and films from this genre are not notorious for their quick starts at the box office. Or, perhaps, it's because the filmmakers did not include a five-second shot of a flagpole holding the American flag being physically inserted into the moon's surface.

This is what the culture warriors want you to think; judging by the responses I've received on social media, the campaign to convince folks that First Man hates America because it erased all the flags from the surface of the moon has succeeded. Of course, if they actually saw the movie, they'd know that there are, in fact, several shots where you can see the flag right there on the moon. There are flags all over the place! On the Earth, on rocket ships, on uniforms, on the ever-loving moon—but hey, what do I know about what I saw with my own two eyes? This was a "flag-free … flop."

I was a bit confused by all the rancor. So I asked a noted Twitter Historian and good friend, Kent Magana, to fill me in on all the various ways First Man was an anti-American disaster. It was an eye-opening experience; I really learned a lot. With Kent's permission, I'm sharing his email here:

Sonny—

I can't say I'm surprised you liked First Man, but I do wish you'd at least have the BALLS to tell your readers the truth about how much this movie hates America. Yeah, sure, the flag is shown on the moon several times, but depriving audiences of an extended sequence in which the pole is seen going in, and out, and in again is, frankly, disrespectful. Neil Armstrong didn't risk his life NOT to penetrate the moon with a flag pole. We needed that money shot, man. We deserved it.

But, really, that's just the beginning of this film's omissions and insertions, all of which were designed to make America look like a bunch of cucks.

I mean, yeah, it was nice of Lamien Wusselle to show people all over the world praising America for its accomplishments, talking about how the United States is a symbol of excellence, that if we couldn't do it, no one could. But would it have been THAT HARD for him to include a shot of Buzz Aldrin peeing out an airlock and right onto the Russian landmass? We all know that the space program was about two things: making America look great and making the Soviets look like little weaklings. Why not dramatize that with a little fictionalized space drizzle?

Also, I think it's shameful that the film did not include any images of the Soviet populace evacuating its bowels en masse after news of the American moon landing. The Russians have tried to cover this up for decades, so I'm not surprised that Hollyweird would hide it, but we know, for a fact, that all 130 million filthy Russkies simultaneously shit themselves in fear when they learned of America's dominance of the moon. First Man‘s failure to acknowledge this fact just highlights how much the filmmakers hate America. It's disgusting.

Finally, I thought it was pretty inappropriate for Neil Armstrong's closing line—after he returns to the United States, and is sitting in quarantine, looking lovingly at his wife—to have been, "Actually, communism is good now and America is bad. Hail Hydra." WHAT THE HELL HOLLYWOOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH OUR HEROES? Also, why didn't they advertise this as an MCU movie, that would've gotten the grosses way up.

So yeah, Sonny Boy. I'm sure you and your friends in the LIBERAL MEDIA had a good laugh at this desecration of an American legend, but we real people aren't going to be fooled by your lies.

Kent Magana

Well, there you have it. Thanks to Kent for setting me straight. First Man is bad after all.