Slap Happy: Thieving Nonbinary Biden Official Leads Spanking Seminar at Sex Conference

Classes at kink conference include 'Running a Dungeon 101' and 'Fisting Fundamentals'

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December 1, 2022

The Biden administration’s most infamous "genderfluid" official isn’t letting a pesky felony charge get in the way of a good time.

Sam Brinton, who was placed on leave at the Department of Energy after stealing a suitcase full of women’s clothes, last weekend delivered a seminar on the science of spanking and "turning butts red" at a Los Angeles kink conference. Speaking under the pseudonym "NuclearNerd," Brinton delivered the hands-on "Spanking: From Calculus To Chemistry" seminar at the Leather Getaway conference, the Daily Mail reported.

"Taught by NuclearNerd, a nerd with graduate degrees from MIT in nuclear engineering with a sincere passion in turning butts red, this class will demonstrate a variety of physics principles with live demonstrations," an online advertisement for Brinton’s seminar states. "Oh, and if you stick around, you'll get the physics version of the class where you can hear about Sam's original calculation of the spring force coefficient of a butt being spanked!"

Brinton, who was named deputy assistant secretary of the Office of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition at the Department of Energy in June, knows a thing or two about spanking. The federal official gets reps in at regular "kink parties" Brinton hosts in their Washington, D.C., "dungeon," according to the bureaucrat’s presenter bio on the conference’s website.

"As a graduate of MIT, NuclearNerd has been teaching their 'Physics of Kink' class in universities and community events across the country for years," the bio states. "They have been active in the kink world since 2013, host monthly kink parties in their dungeon in Washington, DC, and estimate they have spanked over 2,000 cute butts."

Brinton uses the same NuclearNerd pseudonym for an active profile on the fetish hookup app Recon, according to the Daily Mail. On Oct. 27, the bureaucrat was charged with felony theft for swiping a Vera Bradley suitcase, which with its contents was worth $2,325, from the Minneapolis-Saint Paul airport.

Other seminars taught at the leather kink conference included: "Heavy Metal Torture," "Fisting Fundamentals," "Cowboy Rope Bondage," "Running a Dungeon 101," "Pushing Limits: Managing Fear and Hesitation," "Ball Stretching 101," and "Advanced Flogging."

Brinton faces up to five years in prison if convicted of felony theft. A hearing for Brinton’s case is scheduled to take place in Minneapolis on Dec. 19.