Failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has made a flurry of new hires ahead of a much-anticipated announcement of a second White House run. The not-yet-official campaign has been seeking out the hottest talent in an effort to rebrand the 67-year-old candidate as someone who can relate to normal Americans who drive their own cars and don’t have personal relationships with sultans.
Clinton recently hired Kristina Schake, a veteran image consultant who is "credited with making [First Lady Michelle Obama] into a relatable mom," according to MSNBC. On Tuesday, Allure magazine published an exclusive report speculating that Team Clinton was looking to bring on Barbara Lacy, a makeup artist for the hit HBO series Veep. But that’s just the beginning.
Sources have confirmed* that the Clinton campaign plans to fill out its makeup team by hiring the entire cast of Face Off, the SyFy reality game show featuring prosthetic makeup artists who compete in a series of challenges to create elaborate science fiction characters. Clinton aides said the move was evidence of Hillary’s unwavering commitment to reimagine boldly inclusive branding in the digital age.
Clinton has already starting to "play around" with some new looks:
Galactic Grandmother
Futurist Plutocrat
Narcissistic Loony Toon
Dead Broke
American Dreamslayer
Fluxwee the Goblin Queen
And you know, she'd probably still win.
Also some of these photos may be fake.
*Not really. We're just making this up.